Saying goodbye.....

8:42 AM Edit This 2 Comments »
NEVER gets easier..... I actually think it only gets tougher! Today My husband is leaving us again for the summer. Logically you'd think we'd be use to this especially having survived two 6 mo deployments in the last 2 years (it seems he leaves us every MAY). This goodbye was definitely the hardest for the girls, they cried hard when he put them to bed and told them he would be gone in the morning, I think this was harder than having to watch him walk on the ship and leave because you go to bed and life is normal you wake up and the rug has be yanked out from under you. Somewhat fortunately I suppose our life has been far from stable as far as a schedule for several months now (due to the S-H-I-P) SO it is not like we were all comfy with a regular routine that is now being thrust into chaos... we have been living in chaos for some time now!

On the up-side since he is gone for the summer We (the 4 girls and I) will be traveling on a 3 state multi home camping fun finding tattoo getting throw the schedule out the window 6 week long "vacation" starting June 8th!

I should go start Packing!

Recent Happenings

3:43 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Life is Busy with Four children, that is my excuse for being terrible at updating my blog!

You would think that a busy life would give me TONS to write about, I am sure it does But living exhausted and feeling like I am barely getting by makes it hard to form a sentence let alone a complete thought or blog post.


Andrew's work schedule has been AWFUL it is so hard to not know when he'll be home or when or if he'll get a day off so I can have a break. It really takes it's toll on my sanity and our children as well!


So here are a few Updates.....


Meghan

We have noticed a lot of maturing in Miss Meg lately (since Kiersten's arrival), she is more helpful, less emotional and overall she's just developing into a young lady and it is so very nice to see her blossoming. Recently she went on a Girl Scout Encampment weekend with her Brownie Troop which meant her leaving home on Friday and returning on Sunday. This was her first weekend away from home without a family member there with her. She has done a few sleepovers, but those were near to home and I was only a phone call away. This time She was a two hour car ride away. You are probably gathering that this was a big deal (for me), BUT she was so excited and could not wait to go, she had zero apprehension. In the end all went well, she had a blast and it was fun hearing about her adventure when she returned home. I was most worried that she would not like any of the food being served and that would ruin her fun. I was pleased to hear that she tried a few new things and got by on what little food she did like without letting it get in the way of her fun. Also a new development for Meghan is that she got braces on her top teeth last week. FINALLY we are going to close the HUGE gap in her front teeth and pull them together where they belong. They are also working on correcting her overbite and adjusting the teeth on the right side so they hit correctly. Eventually she will have bottom braces as well.

Melanie

Melanie is getting ready for spring recital, they are dancing a Rock Ballet to Tina Turner's "Missing you". SO she went from having dance once a week to three times a week. Recital is May 30th. In February Melanie tried out for the Cinderella ballet at her dance school and was selected as a mouse. Unfortunately the performance date was in June after we would already be on vacation so we could not participate this time. I was sad that she could not take advantage of this opportunity, BUT we are very much looking forward to visiting family this summer so that helped us both accept it! This week she had to have surgery to remove a cyst from her left forearm, it was a minor surgery BUT still a surgery. She handled it like a champ even through out 7 hour wait at the hospital prior to her surgery.

Katelynn
Oh Miss Katelynn, where has my sweet baby girl gone?? I feel like I turned around and where once stood my very inquisitive friendly little toddler now stands My very opinionated, strong willed, attention craving "big Girl" wanna be almost 4 year old little girl. Kate's temperament can turn on a dime, one minute she is sweet, cuddly and cooperative and the next she is stubborn, sassy and emotional. She seems to have reverted a bit to needing a nap at least 3 times a week, and she is most even tempered when Both Andrew and I are home (so someone is always available to give her attention). In April she started a 10 week Tiny tots class that is meant as an introduction to being away from mom and in a pre-school like environment that focuses more on play than education. She goes 2 times a week for two hours, and usually she does not want to go, but she ALWAYS has fun once I get her to go in. We are hoping this will ease with time and she will be ready to learn when she starts Pre-K in July!
Kiersten
My sweet baby.... MY LAST BABY!!! I spend my days holding on and trying to convince her she does NOT want to grow up, that it is best if she just stays small so I can hold her in my arms ALWAYS...... She is NOT listening. Kiersten is VERY active and interested in everything that is going on, every day she sleeps a little less, and tries not to miss a thing. She is rolling and scooting all over and LOVES when anyone talks to her. Much to my dismay she's not a snugly baby and she fights My need to rock her and hold my sleeping baby laying on my chest, she would much rather I just lay her in the bed or put her in the swing. In my head I know this is the best for her long term BUT in my heart I just need to hold on to these few last fleeting moments with my baby. I now totally understand why so many mommies get accused of favoring the baby of the family. It is my last chance there are no do-overs after Kiersten. With ALL the other girls I knew there would be another baby so if things did not go as I wanted I felt like "oh well I'll get it right next time" or "oh... we know now not to do it that way with the next one". This is it no more excuses or mistakes I have to do everything perfect this time. SHE IS GOING TO BE SOOOOO SPOILED! Look out!
In other News..... Andrew will be underway all of June and July, so once again I am vacationing/visiting alone with my girls. I really do have a husband, he is just never home in the summer. I will be visiting My sister (in-law) in Missouri, and Andrew's parents and brothers and sister in Michigan from June 8-28, and the heading on to Ohio. June 28-July4 in Heath and or the Valley July 5-11 in Canton with Amy and the girls and then Back to Heath until July 17th when return home. We can not wait to see everyone!!!

Here goes Nothin!

9:05 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
OK.... I had a baby 4 mo ago and FINALLY I have decided that I need to get my body under control. This is SO very hard for me, I am very anti-low fat anything, hate diet soda, and am not huge on veggies at all! Knowing myself if I just go cold turkey on everything bad and start exercising like mad I will peter out in no time.
Therefore I have a slow and steady approach. I am not looking for instant results, more life changing move toward better habits and a reasonable exercise routine. I gave up soda all together about 3 weeks ago and replaced it with a yummy add to water powder that is only 5 calories per serving. I am now working on cutting back on the LOVE OF MY LIFE..... Ice Cream! When it comes to ice cream I am weak weak weak! I can not bring it in the house or I eat it everyday until it is GONE! So I have been allowing myself to visit our favorite frozen yogurt place once a week. Next up... EAT MORE VEGGIES!
Last week I set out to wake up early every day for 30 minutes of exercise before the girls wake up. I actually managed it 3 days our of 5. It has become very clear that my Tuesdays are CRAZY and do not make it easy to fit in 30 minutes of exercise. This week my goal is to do 4 days, I am half way there!
I hope I can take control of my body and change myself for the better!

Irrational Fears....

1:11 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
I think other Mothers must have these as well (OR maybe I'm crazy). One of my fears is that someone will break in to my house at night and steal one of my children from their bed while I sleep. This goes hand in hand with My fear waking up to a stranger standing over me or general someone breaking in to my house at all (especially when my hubby goes away for months). These fears have always been there since I was a child really, BUT since we now live in CA they are a bit more prominent. For some reason it seems more bad things happen in places like CA, FL, NYC and LasVegas (This probably comes from watching too much TV).
So every night before I get in my bed I go and look over each of my four children to make sure that they are where they are supposed to be. You know just in case someone creeped through the second story window into their rooms and snuck them out without me knowing in the two or so hours I was awake after they were in bed. Also if I get out of bed in the night I go and check on them especially if I am not sure what woke me up, It could have been that I heard a sound and just don't remember it. My husband laughs at me all the time over this and jokingly will ask when I climb into bed if everyone is where they should be..... He thinks he's cute. When it comes down to it If I have to tell the police when the last time I saw my child was..... I WILL KNOW FOR SURE!
Now for the funny little heart stopping moment that occurred last night.....
At 2am I woke to Kiersten Crying this is normal we get up once through the night for a feeding. As I sit in the living room watching the Olympics and feeding the baby I hear foot steps up stairs which eventually lead to Melanie standing at the bottom of the stairs claiming not to be able to sleep. I tell her it is the middle of the night and she needs to go back to bed, and that once Kiersten is back to sleep I will come and check on her. I say this knowing full well when I go up there in twenty or so minutes she will be fast asleep in her bed!
At about 2:50 am I lay Kiersten down in her bed and go to check on the rest of my girls like I do every night but also because I told Melanie I would. MELANIE IS NOT IN HER BED!!!!!! I think hmmm.... she must have gotten in my bed instead. Upon entering our room which is dark but I have my night eyes on by now, I cannot see her in our bed either. I begin patting down the bed thinking I must have just missed her. This wakes my husband who is laying in the middle of all this patting and I say...."I can't find Melanie". I go back to her room... I must have missed her..... NOPE still not in her bed??? By this point my heart is pounding, my worst fear(or one of them) had come true! So I step up on Melanie's full size bottom bunk bed and peer into Meghan's twin size top bunk bed and there she is sleeping side by side with her big sister.... whew! My Heart instantly dropped back into place!
Upon return to My bedroom I find my husband just starting to get out of bed. He was obviously concerned by my inability to find one of our children! Less than 60 seconds later he was sound asleep... me..... not so much!

Life is short..... Live it well!

12:12 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
To say I have had an eye opening week would be an understatement. Two events have occurred on opposite sides of the country, neither directly affected my life but both have touched me deeply and made me think about my life in a whole new light.
On the evening of Thursday February 11th a house fire in Heath Ohio took the life of a 3 year old little boy. He was the oldest son of a friend of my brother. I heard this news from my father on Friday and was immediately brought to tears. The thought of any child perishing in a fire is unthinkable, but this boy was almost the exact age of my Katelynn and I could not help but think how incredibly devastated I would be if I lost her or any of my children. I found myself thinking what if it were us.....
Friday February 19th was a normal workday for my husband I kissed him good bye in the morning and told him to drive safe as I always do thinking the most dangerous part of his day is not being at work but driving to and from. Andrew says see you tonight, and I respond "we'll be here". I am sure many many other wives did the same thing that morning, a day like any other. For one wife however she had said goodbye for the last time, her husband would not return home! During a normal work day on the ship a friend of my husband was doing his job, possibly feeling the pressure to rush and get his job done made a split second choice that ultimately cost him his life. Once again I found myself thinking what if that were Andrew?
My Heart goes out to both of these families whose lives are forever changed. I pray that they have the strength to trudge through this awful time in their lives.
I find myself thinking about every interaction with my husband and children thinking "this COULD be our last". If it were the last I want to be able to remember the last interaction with my loved one as a positive one. I will not let my husband or children walk away without telling them I love them and to be safe. I am trying to be more patient and understanding with the girls and enjoy them every second. So often life gets moving so fast that we loose control and are just going along for the ride. I feel like so often a week or a month goes by in a blur and I can't remember where the time went. I am feeling the need to slow down and enjoy my family EVERYDAY!